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Depression is​.​.​.

from NeurOnFire by Iambic Beats

/

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lyrics

Standing under a billion star sky
Yet only seeing the dark of night

I didn’t know what was wrong
My doctor asked me how I felt
My answer was
Restless, anxious, sad, hopeless, and worthless

Depression is feeling paralyzed

Depression is the eternal feeling of your heart
Being chipped away one piece at a time
In the most painful way imaginable

Depression is the loss of our ability
To find the words for our heart

Depression weighs with the gravity of Jupiter

Depression is a life eater

Depression is loss of hope
An abyss that takes hold of my true desires

Depression is a too long cluster of cloudy days
A memory that won’t go away
Being the one that folks forget
The end of the road, rough with regret
Depression is living in a box made of fear
Year after year after year

Depression is emptiness

Depression is uncertainty
Depression is a motherfucker

Depression is choosing to be alone
It is never wanting to heal,
Not the way the world wants me to
It is pills and therapy
I will never believe in
It is a life locked behind invisible bars
A permanent deferment of reality
The orphan soul with no identity beyond a poem
It is wanting to end my life

Depression is completely and utterly immobilizing

Depression is sucking the life
Out of everything and everyone you know
Because you just can’t be satisfied

Depression is a thief
It bleeds you and takes everything
Depression wears a smile one day
While it puts a noose
Around your uncle or your best friend the next
And no one wants to talk about mental
In between mass shootings

Depression is a capsizing ship in a peaceful sea

Depression is starting over again and again and again
And each time, each iteration you just compound the loneliness

You asked me to describe depression
I point to the open mouth of the cave

What if pain was a zero sum
And it was collective like ancestral memory?
We’d pass it around but it would forever be
Pain will never die
We know this
It will only be shuffled from body to body
Let me take yours
I don’t care if it hurts
I’ll treasure it, for it is from you
I’ll hold it
I’ll smooth the edges until it glides softly downstream
It won’t go away
But if we share it
It can be beautiful

Depression is
All of us

credits

from NeurOnFire, released July 25, 2022
Poetry by Melinda Smith and various contributors
Additional audio by multiple contributors

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Iambic Beats Los Angeles, California

We have so many titles. A few of mine are: scientist, poet, writer, singer, mom. I like to think I live at the intersection of music and words and always asking questions. A goddamn lovely place to be.

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