Building a Memory

from NeurOnFire by Iambic Beats

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

Purchasable with gift card

$1 USD or more
Buy the Full Digital Album
Full Digital Discography

6

releases

Get all 6 Iambic Beats releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of NeurOnFire, House of Cards, Phase/Shift, AlgoRhythms, Dark Matter, and Chiasm. , and , .

Purchasable with gift card

$21.20 USD or more (20% OFF)

about

Some years ago, I read the book Pieces of Light by Dr. Charles Fernyhough. I highly recommend it if you are interested in learning more about what memory actually is and isn't. I asked Dr. Fernyhough if he would consider being part of an Iambic Beats piece and to my utter surprise and delight, he said yes! In this song, he reads excerpts from his book, and I perform a poem about memory in the style of a voicemail message. (Note: because I'm so old, I originally typed "an answering machine message." Face palm...)

The overall theme of this song is that memory isn't something tangible that we can reach for, but rather we recreate it each time we access it. Strange but beautiful.

I hope you enjoy this song.

lyrics

(When you have a memory
You don’t retrieve something that already exists fully formed
You create something new)

I’m sorry, your memory is not available right now
Please leave your message after the tone

I remember you
I build you anew in my mind
When I picture your face I recreate it each time
I paint your smile first
The way your lips parted, lopsided
You tried to hide it

Do you remember me too?
Do you reconstruct or undo?
It’s like composing a song about me and you
And when you try to sing along
The notes are all wrong
But it feels like it’s true

(Vividness does not guarantee accuracy)
(Memory is an artist as much as it is a scientist)

Do you sing in tune, alone in your room?
Does my voice fill your ears
awakening parts of you asleep all these years
As we build each other back to life?
Neural paths we rewrite
And if we get the math just right
Will these memories grow wings?
Take flight?

(Memory is about the present as much as it is about the past)

But what is a memory?
It’s not a box with a top
And a lock I can pick or take off
It’s a new story
And once the beat drops I can’t stop
I make it up as I go
Even though it seems so real
The tiny hairs on your skin
I can feel them

My neurons replay the same flickering reel
And I view these old movies
That do nothing but prove we have history
Moving these old mysteries
My mind holds them like truth

(Vividness does not guarantee accuracy)

It’s just these brain cells
Ingrained in the stories they tell
Taking my senses on a senseless adventure
Without intention
Necessity my motherless invention
Spining yarns peddling dopamine
Necessitating intervention
Because this fix fixes nothing

(Memories are changed by the very process of reconstructing them)

Memories are changed by the very process of reconstructing them

Message complete
If you are satisfied with your message
Press pound
To erase, press 1
Message erased
Goodbye

credits

from NeurOnFire, released July 25, 2022
Poetry written and performed by Melinda Smith
Featuring audio read by Charles Fernyhough (@cfernyhough on Twitter) from his book Pieces of Light

license

about

Iambic Beats Los Angeles, California

We have so many titles. A few of mine are: scientist, poet, writer, singer, mom. I like to think I live at the intersection of music and words and always asking questions. A goddamn lovely place to be.